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Don't offer me a gas company membership card. Offer me free gas.

I have been working recently on optimizing a landing page for a client of mine. I think and hope my new version will do better than the current control.

My optimism is based on a number of changes I made. But in particular, I think I made a significant improvement to the headline.

As I was working on it, it struck me that the existing headline had something in common with many other headlines I see. It came very, very close to a pure and simple expression of the offer...but not quite.

Let me give you a couple of examples of what I mean.

Example 1:

"Get your 2 week FREE TRIAL at nicksaudiodownloads.com"

Sounds good, but the headline actually misses the mark. Here's how I would rewrite it:

"Get FREE AUDIO DOWNLOADS at nicksaudiodownloads.com"

It's not the free trial that's exciting...it's the free downloads.

Version one promotes the free trial, and will then go on to explain how you can download some e-goods free during your trial. Version two offers the free downloads, and will then explain the terms of the free trial offer.

This sounds obvious, but if you browse the web a bit, and even look at some magazine ads, you'll find a lot of marketers are selling free trials, instead of the free goods or services that are available during the trial period.

Example 2:

Here's an offer you might find on a sandwich board outside a local coffee store.

"Buy eight coffees and get the next one free!"

Why not say it this way:

"Regular Customers get FREE Coffee!"

My point being that it's not the "process" that is compelling, but the offer itself. You can explain the process later.

This may sound like simple variation on the "feature/benefit" argument so beloved by copywriters.

But it's not quite the same. What I'm suggesting is that you be careful not to find yourself selling the process or framework of any offer. Instead, sell the benefit that the process or framework contains.

Don't offer me a gas company membership card. Offer me free gas.

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